I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
