my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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