You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
