belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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