I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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