so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
