I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
