I'm really into asian looking animals
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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