Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
