i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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