in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
