that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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