I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
