can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
