Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
