there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
