Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
