why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
