Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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