I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize