I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
