she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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