Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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