i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
