fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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