awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
