I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
