Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
