No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
