It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
