I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
