Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
