I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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