Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
