But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
