you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
