I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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