ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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