Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
