You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
