maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
