so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
