dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
