Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
