i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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