i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
time to smoke my breakfast
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
