Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
