"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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