My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
