His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
