Is it normal to miss your booty call?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
